Reasons why people come to counselling: Recap


…and welcome back to my blog.

Before signing off on my series of reasons why people come to counselling I wanted to do a brief recap of everything that’s been covered, just in case you missed anything.

Feelings of Isolation and Loneliness

We are social beings – this means we all need social interaction and relationships in order to live healthy and fulfilling lives.

Feelings of isolation and loneliness can occur when we believe there is a gap between our desired social contact/intimacy and what we actually have, or to the perceived quality of our relationship(s).

This can result in feeling like an outcast, and thus finding it difficult to build and maintain meaningful relationships, as well as impacting our overall wellbeing.

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We can all experience stress in our daily lives, it is normal and to be expected. Sometimes it can motivate us to be learn and grow, but sometimes it can be distressing and overwhelming.

Stress is defined as any uncomfortable emotional experience, in which ultimately we feel threatened. When this becomes prolonged it can impact us physically, psychologically and behaviorally.

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Our need to connect, and therefore to make relationships in order to bond, is innate. Relationships represent what it means to be human, however they cannot survive on their own, they need the nurturing of two people.

When relationships fail they can cause us significant pain and distress. This not only affects how individuals view themselves, but can effect their existing relationships with others as well as their ability to create new relationships.

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Depression is more than just being unhappy, it’s about feeling persistently sad and in a low mood for an extended period, which effects functioning in daily life including work, relationships and interests.

It will affect individuals behaviourally, psychologically as well as physically, with some being aware of what has triggered their depression, while others may not.

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Feeling anxious is a normal part of daily life as it alerts us to dangers as well as helping us to be more productive.

Sometimes however, anxiety can become constant, overwhelming and out of proportion, which effects the sufferers daily life, potentially to a debilitating degree. Anxiety may have been triggered by a traumatic event, past experiences or sometimes there is no known reason.

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Difficult Emotions

Emotions, both the pleasant and the unpleasant, are part and parcel of everyday life. They demonstrate how we feel about experiences, people, situations as well as ourselves.

At times we will experience difficult emotions which will be distressing, painful and overwhelming. Society however tells us that feeling such emotions is not desirable, and individuals may feel the need to be happy all the time, which can cause further distress when they feel that this is simply not possible.

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Difficult Life Events

Life has a habit of forcing us to experience, expected or unexpected, life events. When these life events are difficult they can cause pain and distress. They may even disrupt our lives in unforeseen ways, causing further worry and anguish, where individuals feel unable to cope and can become isolated from loved ones.

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Difficult Health Conditions

At some point in our lives we will all experience a difficult health condition, whether it be chicken pox or the flu to something more chronic or possibly even terminal.

Suffering from a difficult health condition, or caring for someone with a difficult health condition, can significantly impact a persons daily life as a result of restrictions from enforced inactivity to confinement to house or even the bed. Whether the condition be physical or emotional such restrictions can result in further emotional vulnerability.

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The above is by no means an extensive list of reasons why you or anyone may wish to come to counselling. It is also simply a recap of my recent series of ‘Reasons why people come to counselling’, so if anything has stood out, or if you want more information please click the link below the relevant topic which will take you to the individual blog.

My hope was to capture a variety of experiences, feelings and/or situations which may prompt someone to seek help. None of these reasons are by any means a sign of weakness, in fact they are all a sign of being human, it’s just sometimes we may not quite have the resources to sort it out ourselves.

Please like, comment, share and follow, and until next time:

be kind | embrace growth | nurture relationships


Reasons people come to counselling – Difficult Health Conditions


…and welcome back to my blog.

Last but by no means least on this series of reasons why people come to counselling is difficult health conditions.

At some point in our lives we will all be affected by a difficult health condition, whether it be an acute condition, which is sudden and short like the flu, to something more chronic, which is longer term and may require ongoing medical intervention, to a condition which is terminal, where there is no cure and death is likely.

Whether a condition is acute or terminal, lived with since birth or arisen suddenly, there can be significant impact to not only our physical and emotional health, but our basic standard of living.

I myself am suffering from an ankle injury at the moment, which is restricting my normal lifestyle, which is frustrating and demoralising.

While the list of difficult health conditions is extensive, here are a select few:

  • Injury/disability
  • Shingles
  • Pneumonia
  • Fertility issues
  • Chronic pain
  • Arthritis
  • Diabetes
  • Dementia/Alzheimer
  • Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)
  • AIDS
  • Multiple Sclerosis
  • Cancer

As I’m finding out for myself suffering from a condition, whether it be acute, chronic or terminal, impacts our daily life from school and work attendance, to having a social life, enjoying exercise and/or simply completing day-to-day activities. Individuals may be confined to the house or even their bed, and have enforced inactivity. Experiencing such restrictions, along with living with the difficult health condition itself can greatly affect our mental health. Individuals may experience feeling some if not all of the following:

  • Sad
  • Anxious
  • Depressed
  • Withdrawn
  • Unmotivated
  • Vulnerable
  • Angry
  • Stressed
  • Bored
  • Isolated
  • Lonely
  • Helpless
  • Hopeless

This list of course is not extensive, and as I’m sure you are aware of, if we are experiencing low mood or feeling emotionally vulnerable this may also negatively impact us physically, either by resulting in physical symptoms or hindering our recovery of an existing condition.

Difficult health conditions not only affect those living with the condition itself, but those who live with, are related to or care for the individual. Being a carer for a loved one is a stressful job, both physically and emotionally. Carer’s can feel resentment and guilt as well as being isolated and exhausted.

Counselling therefore allows individuals, whether they be the sufferer or the carer, the space to discuss and explore their condition/diagnosis to try and come to terms with their situation as well as to provide emotional support.

So, there you have it folks, my very first series of blog posts on a specific topic is complete. Within this series I focused on why people come to counselling, covering:

  • Feelings of Isolation and Loneliness
  • Stress
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Difficult Emotions
  • Difficult Life Events
  • Difficult Health Conditions

This is by no means an extensive list of reasons, but I hope it has captured some of the types of circumstances and/or feelings that people may be experiencing which may prompt them to seek help. My hope is that at least one person can relate to something I have written, and realise they aren’t alone and that there is help out there.

Please like, comment, share and follow, and until next time:

be kind | embrace growth | nurture relationships


Reasons people come to counselling – Difficult Life Events


…and welcome back to my blog.

I am almost coming to the end of this series on reasons why people come to counselling, and today’s post is all about difficult life events.

Whether we like it or not, life has a habit of forcing us to experience and deal with life events, both of the expected and the unexpected kind. Sometimes these life events are happy and exciting and we are able to draw pleasure from them, but sometimes life events are difficult and distressing causing us pain and discomfort.

Examples of difficult life events include:

  • Death
  • Trauma
  • Redundancy/job loss/retirement/unemployment
  • Relationship breakdown/divorce
  • Imprisonment
  • Getting married
  • New job
  • Financial difficulties
  • Injury/health issues
  • Homelessness

These types of events can end up shaping us into the people we become, from our beliefs to our personality as well as our coping mechanisms. They can disrupt normal life and make individuals not only question their understanding of the world, but of themselves.

Individuals may feel unable to handle the consequences of such life events so try to:

  • forget
  • avoid
  • ignore
  • supress
  • deflect

They may also experience physical symptoms, including:

  • headaches
  • aches and pains
  • diarrhoea
  • palpitations
  • low energy
  • insonmia

and they may become:

  • withdrawn
  • anxious
  • angry
  • aggressive
  • irritable
  • stressed
  • fearful
  • panicked

If an individual is already struggling to deal with the consequences of one or more difficult life events, they may find any further issues, incidents or events, whether big or small even more overwhelming, and can become stuck in a cycle of despair. They may struggle to find their own solutions, or be so overwhelmed it affects their daily functioning as well as their wellbeing, or become isolated struggling to speak with loved ones which negatively affects their relationships. It is in these times that counselling may help. Counselling offers a safe space for individuals to open up and explore not only what happened to them, but how it makes them feel as well as consider how if affects their thought and behavioral patterns.

Please like, comment, share and follow, and until next time:

be kind | embrace growth | nurture relationships