Tag: Anxiety

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Reasons people come to counselling – Difficult Emotions

Hello…

…and welcome back to my blog.

Continuing with reasons why people come to counselling today I will be exploring difficult emotions.

Emotions are normal and part of daily life, whether they be good or bad, they motivate us to take action, survive or simply make changes. Emotions therefore can be very informative and help us to work out what we are feeling.

Obviously, most people wish to experience positive emotions, such as happiness and excitement, rather than negative emotions as they are unpleasant and painful. Examples of difficult emotions include:

  • Low self-esteem
  • Loneliness
  • Guilt
  • Shame
  • Sadness
  • Worry
  • Jealously
  • Powerlessness
  • Fear
  • Rejection

There may be various reasons why we may be experiencing such difficult or distressing emotions, below are simply a select few:

  • Bereavement
  • Trauma
  • Unemployment
  • Relationship breakdown
  • Discrimination
  • Monetary difficulties
  • Domestic Abuse

Despite experiencing distressing events, such as the ones noted above, society tells us negative emotions are bad and undesirable while positive ones are preferred and desired. However, the belief that we must feel positive and happy all the time is simply impractical, it’s not real life, and can end up pushing our feelings down making us repress our emotions.

Sometimes individuals struggle to even name their emotions because they are either unaware, lack a lexicon of feeling words, find it difficult to talk about them, bottle them up, don’t want to be seen as weak or vulnerable and/or use distraction to either control or fight them – all of which are unhealthy.

Instead we should aim to achieve and maintain balanced emotions, where they aren’t seen as either positive or negative, but which are all validated and understood. To understand, it is equally okay to feel happy as it is to feel sad. Counselling is therefore a place where an individual can start to learn to do this. It can help individuals learn about themselves by recognising and acknowledging their emotions in a safe and non-judgemental space, as well as exploring root causes and patterns of behaviour.

Please like, comment, share and follow, and until next time:

be kind | embrace growth | nurture relationships

Kassandra

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Reasons people come to counselling – Anxiety

Hello…

…and welcome back to my blog.

Today’s post on reasons why people come to counselling is focusing on Anxiety.

Anxiety, refers to feelings of worry, concern and fear. It is normal to experience anxiety as it alerts us to dangers, makes us more productive, or perhaps demonstrates our passions, so whether that be climbing a ladder, completing coursework or preparing for the opening night of a play.

I know I work better, for example, when up against a deadline.

Anxiety therefore plays a part in our everyday lives.

When anxiety becomes constant, overwhelming and out of proportion making sufferers believe that elements in their lives are significantly worse than they really are and affecting their daily lives, this is when it becomes distressing and potentially debilitating.

It presents differently for different people, but symptoms will include both behavioural and physical.

Behavioural symptoms that may present include:

  • Feeling uneasy
  • Feeling worried
  • Feeling fearful
  • Feeling on edge
  • Feelings of a lack of control
  • A sense of dread
  • Difficulties concentrating
  • Irritability
  • Avoidance

Physical symptoms may also include:

  • Feeling sick
  • Hot flushes
  • Increased perspiration
  • Dry mouth
  • Palpitations
  • Hyperventilating
  • Tiredness
  • Headache
  • Dizziness

There are different forms of anxiety, which include:

  • Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
  • Phobias
  • Social Anxiety
  • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

I will cover these later in another series of blogs dedicated to anxiety. Each of these will not only present differently, but all experiences of anxiety, may have a variety of different triggers, from traumatic incidents, to childhood fears and/or difficult life events, or perhaps there is no known cause.

As stated, living with anxiety can be debilitating, where doing everyday tasks such as looking after yourself, forming and maintaining relationships, holding down a job or enjoying leisure time are not only difficult but cause distress. For those suffering with anxiety counselling can help to understand their condition better, identify triggers, provide support including strategies to cope as well as considering the possible cause.

Please like, comment, share and follow, and until next time:

be kind | embrace growth | nurture relationships

Kassandra

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Reasons why people come to counselling – Relationships

Hello…

…and welcome back to my blog.

In continuation of this series of reasons why people come to counselling today we’ll be looking at relationships.

The definition of a relationship is the way in which two or more people are connected.

Our need for connection is innate, we are born with it. Therefore, relationships are extremely important – in which the bond created is more than the sum of its parts.

Simply, they represent what it means to be human.

Whilst the need is innate, the ability to create successful, healthy and loving relationships is learnt – from the moment we are placed into our mothers arms.

When talking about relationships most people concentrate on romantic, but it is important to be aware that we have relationships with all the people in our lives from family and friends, to work colleagues, neighbours and acquaintances. We can experience breakdown of any of these relationships – therefore it is key to nurture them all.  Relationships cannot survive on their own, they need the care and nurturing of two people to create and sustain a connection.

What happens when relationships fail?

It can be a great source of pain, hurt, discomfort, distress, anxiety and sorrow to name but a few. This can make individuals feel:

  • Isolated and alone
  • Distrustful of others
  • Unworthy
  • Unlovable
  • Loss of self
  • Sad
  • Anxious
  • Depressed

Why do relationships fail? It could be for a number of reasons including but not limited to:

  • Insecurities and low self-esteem
  • Lack of trust
  • Communication issues
  • Compatibility concerns
  • Different expectations
  • Unmet needs
  • Fear of vulnerability
  • Health issues/concerns
  • Money issues
  • Infidelity
  • Narcissism
  • Domestic Abuse

We all have old patterns of relating, arising from our past relationships, which may even stem as far back as childhood, that can get repeated and impact our life, as well as our present or future relationships. These patterns may even result in some individuals finding it difficult to form relationships in the first instance.

As social beings we thrive in relationships. Therefore, we can experience great anguish when they fail, especially if we may not understand the deep underlying reasons why. Counselling can help to bring these reasons into awareness, explore old patterns of relating, learn how to make a new relationship, whilst being able to talk honestly about issues without fear of judgment

Please like, comment, share and follow, and until next time:

be kind | embrace growth | nurture relationships

Kassandra

 

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